What can be said about Ghost Manor for the Atari 2600 that hasn’t been said before? If I were to tell you that Ghost Manor doesn’t take place inside a Manor, would you be surprised? Perhaps, after sitting down to play, and then realizing that the aforementioned Ghost looked nothing like a ghost, your monocle might pop off and your top hat would spin 360 degrees around, but I doubt it. You are savvy, internet reader. You eat rainbow-colored ghosts who dance in erratic patterns for breakfast. With that in mind, there is only one thing I can possibly say about Ghost Manor:
WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET BABY JESUS’S BALLS IS HAPPENING?!
Bonus:
Recipe for Sweet Baby Jesus’s Balls
1 cup butter
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup sifted powdered sugar
Beat your butter mercilessly, preferably with a belt, though an electric mixer is also acceptable. Cover the butter in about half the flour (give or take a half). stun the sugar and add it, as well, along with the vanilla. Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear, and you’ll smell like a cookie all day. A tablespoon of water is also required, despite having not been listed in the ingredients. I’ll fix that later in a patch.
Beat until thoroughly combined, then, beat some more, this time just for fun. Stir in the pecans with vigor.
Shape the dough into Baby Jesus’s balls (about 1-inch in size…don’t ask me how I know that…), taking care not to squeeze them too tight. Caress Baby Jesus’s balls gently, and place them on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake in a 325 degree oven for 20 minutes or until the Baby Jesus stops screaming. Cool balls on a wire rack. Gentile-ly shake cooled balls in a bag with the powdered sugar. Makes about 36 balls.
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